Parenthood and the 'Other', by Nova Milesko

I have had a baby now, and all I can say is wow... its really is cool to see this little person for real. And although babies and their ilk have never really been my thing I have to agree with those that say it's different when it's your own.

I have noticed throughout this journey to parenthood as in life, there is good advice and bad, and I don't think you need me to add my 10 pence worth, but I just want to mention one thing I have found to be useful in all the exciting, trying and tiring times so far.

 

It is a very Yogic thought, which is mentioned repeatedly in the Yoga Sutras, the Gita and even Pattanjali’s eight limbs, and is central to our happiness in this world. It comes down to how we approach our life.

 

It is the seeking of the "other" that causes suffering, and Yoga can help us learn to deal with this by creating a space to expand our understanding of this simple innate human condition.

 

Seeking of the "other" has two main manifestations - aversion away from that which we dislike and attraction towards that which we like.

 

We are so often convinced we have to control our outer world to be happy, but trying to exercise control can just lead to more suffering. Buses can make us late, but we make lateness worse by upsetting ourselves about.

 

When we can let go of the need to control life and just go with life's flow then the suffering caused by aversion from our circumstances or longing for different circumstances starts to lessen.

 

Our Asana practice is an action of compassion that gives you the space to go with the flow as a physical meditation on aversion and attraction. Hopefully in that space you will learn to accept yourself whether you reach that advanced pose or not.

Observe how this effects your headspace off the mat too. When you truly commit to allowing the day to unfold as it will.

The experience of pregnancy, childbirth and now caring for my newborn son has posed a series of challenges, but accepting the reality as it is (nappies and all) instead of longing for reality to be different had made it much easier than it could have been.

Once we realise that the journey and the goal are the same we can start to just embrace life.


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